A lady, who has been identified as a fitness coach has shared her experience on how her husband who is a pilot, lost his job less than 10 days after giving birth to their second child, leaving them in tribulation for about 11 months.
Narrating her experience on social media she said:
“My husband lost his job a day after we named our second son
I’m aware that people hardly share the complexities and struggle that comes with this union called marriage. And I’d say this off the bat if you don’t view marriage as a covenant, the series of my next posts aren’t for you, so come back later.
I like to give you a very balanced view but stories or lessons aren’t only mine to share so I must ask for permission.
I was away with my family, about to have our second child, hubby wasn’t with me as he was with the first, no biggy as he had to work. We named our dear son OLUWATONI meaning “God Is enough” and two days later hubby sent me an email with his lay off letter.
Like I just born last week and dem come sack you 9 days later 😲😳, Those emojis were my first reactions, ; especially because I KNOW how much my husband loved the work of his ‘ hands, anybody married to a pilot knows that they are the second wife, they just love being in the air, most pilots take immense pleasure in what they do, I respect them so much!
That’s how I started crying oh, I immediately called him on the phone. His first reaction was: oh no baby stop crying, this is a blessing!
I’m like 😲😳sure you are okay? He responded and assured me that he was fine. I believed him.
Little did we know we were about to walk an 11 month road of severe testing and fire. Everything will be tested. Him, I and the marriage itself.
When a man loses his job it’s almost like — you have taken away his very essence. So instead of spending 3 months like I did when I had my first, I packed my load at exactly 4 and a half weeks and came home to my baby.
I was met with a small meeting a few days later. My husband decided we should sell one car, only 2 domestic staff could remain, excesses were about to be cut off.
I was like wooo wooo wooo calm down, we aren’t poor naaaaa shebi I’m working, he said that’s exactly why I have to share a car with you, oh ogbeni, I will not go back to timetable with car.
We were still struggling when he said the housekeeper who doubled as a cook should go too, I’m like what sort of arrangement is this kehinde? That one caused a big fight because I told him my mind.
We boarded the plane of testings and trials. Every single marriage will go through its seasons and its tests, no one is exempted. Not one person. Back to the story.
I sincerely asked if all of this was necessary, we weren’t big spenders prior, we did only what was needed at the time. Why are you you removing all my comfort? Hubby said, Bunmi, these are peculiar times and we need to tighten our belts, we don’t know how !long this would last.
Rather than scoff, complain and throw my own weight around, because I could afford it. I decided to submit to wisdom under the authority of Christ. When I’m not in submission to my husband I’m in rebellion against Christ.
I wanted to have the right perspective and do it in joy. People have less and are happy. I was determined that my captain knew what he was doing. I reached out to @secretplacewife as well to discuss some of my blind spots. She doesn’t mince words with me at all.
We started sharing my car because he sold his, I went back fully into the kitchen, he joined me in my work at ShredderGang.
Hubby will answer phone calls, take orders, deliver products to our clients.
Nothing was too small for him to do.
He took on huge responsibility at home and at work while still looking for a job. The only salary he had was the one I was paying him.
It’s at this juncture, I want to talk about perspective, perspective is everything. How you SEE is crucial. In this time, we had a unified home, things were not where they should have been (they were exactly where they should have been) we had a strong sense of purpose and direction.
Were there times we overstepped boundaries, yesssss.. but listening to God first especially for me (I dey craze, sometimes) and then reconciliation.
SEASONS: this is a fact of life, everyone will go through seasons, both individually and as a couple. Seasons are not meant to kill you, but to build you. I often look back on this time and see it as an organized test.
In a season of lack, we were abundant, in a season of confusion, we were at peace. In a season of drought, our valley was full. We had all we truly needed, each other. Because we have a sense of purpose, vision and perspective.
Having the right vision, a sense of purpose and perspective doesn’t mean perfection, it doesn’t mean that you won’t feel weary sometimes. Or get tired on the journey. It doesn’t mean you won’t FIGHT or have disagreements. You are human, but death to flesh is importanter.
My business @shreddergang continued to flourish, as a result of having him on board.
God opened a lot of doors to work with multinationals and various corporations across the nation. I was excelling and my husband was my biggest cheerleader, but It also meant I was busy at times. This particular day my hubby was home and I had gone to speak at a multinational.
I take great pride in serving my husband’s food. Although he wasn’t really big on it, he can go to the kitchen and serve himself. So I had told the nanny what to do before I left – Boil rice, fry dodo, warm the stew.
I came home at about 5pm and he hadn’t eaten! I hadn’t eaten as well, so I rushed to get my food while the nanny served his. Shortly after, he asked me – have you seen my food? I said yes, why? He didn’t respond. After like 10 mins he said very calmly, baby please make sure there’s proper food in the house. She had served him some useless part of protein. And I hadn’t seen it.
Is it not rice and Turkey we are both eating? -” I just shrugged it off, me that I’m tired. Uncle eat and rest it’s no big deal.
That’s how it turned into a war of words. Literally gbas gbos. And this is not us, we don’t insult each other. I said something along the lines of “I’ve been out all day working I’m tired” he replied something like “I’m the jobless one at home doing nothing” and that’s how it continued for like 5 mins till I heard the Holy Spirit say “Bunmi, stop, get on your knees RIGHT NOW” without any why should I? What did I do wrong? I’m the one in the right! I got on my knees.
The look on my husband’s face changed. OMG! no Bunmi get up get up. I started crying, baby I’m sorry.. in that moment I learnt exactly what Paul said “marriage is not the place to fight for your rights”.
I want to stress the importance of believing in your man and not putting him under pressure. I’ve heard women say I don’t care how you do it you must provide for the home. Aunty!!SURUUUUUU
I solely believed in his judgment and vision for our family, he decided to do what any reasonable forward thinking man should do, he decided to go for additional training to broaden his chances of getting a job.
We pulled from our savings. Heavy something, but listen it’s just money, our relationship was more important. We make money such a hindrance in marriages, I will still come back to that another time.
He left me with a toddler and a newborn and went away for almost 2 months for training. He came back and still nothing, but we move.
As we came into 2018, hubby embarked on a 40 day fast, I saw his faith in God skyrocket. It was admirable.
I remember going for a program really disturbed like God, this fire is too much now. I was determined to do something I’ve never done before. As per formula, I went to the front of the auditorium to roll on the ground, you know, to show God that I was serious.
That’s how God told me in these exact words “better get up don’t dirty your cloth” God speaks to me in pidgin sometimes. As I stood up He said “I love kehinde more in a moment than you ever could in a lifetime, I know what I’m doing” so | decided to relax.
About a week, his old job called him back. I thought wawuuuu!!! Long story, hubby turned it down, there’s nobody that didn’t call him to beg or counsel him to take it. He felt something better would come. It’s important to note that there are only 2 companies in Nigeria he could work for.
The one calling him back and another but they weren’t hiring. Infact someone said, George, if you don’t take this offer, consider your career over. Humans speaking like God.
To the human eye, this was a stupid move to make. But, He was adamant, even me I was like are you sure, baby? He said yes! I said ok now. Man like K black Okurin meta!! A man’s man.
Months passed nothing until one day, somebody, say one day, when God turned around the captivity of Zion, they were like them that DREAMED!
The loss of the job tested him, the circumstances as a result tested me, our interactions within the circumstances tested the marriage. I started by saying Marriage is a covenant, not a contract. If you are going to excel you are going to have to play by the rules, no corners cut.
So one day, the company that wasn’t even hiring decided to call Kehinde in for a chat. It was a Tuesday. He went in and they liked him, next question – do you have a US visa, yes I do. What do you think about us sending you for training on Thursday?
Somebody rababababaababaaaa and just like that, baba was on a plane in two days. HE GOT THE JOB! And a powerful offer, when I saw the offer I entered the toilet to weep before the Lord. I wept and wept, 150% increase on ALL fronts. Not only that over the next 365 days, God orchestrated a program for him in which he was able to get back the hours he lost by being home for 11 months. If you know anything about aviation, hours are like their life line. God was incredibly gracious and full of mercy toward hubby.
Why did I share this? Quite frankly it’s not anybody’s business but I’m well aware that part of my mandate is to share, is to live my life as an open epistle for men to read. As I open up to you, you in turn open up to God.
I chose this photo specifically because it was the day I publicly honored my husband in front of his family and friends. It wasn’t a milestone age, but I wanted him and them to know how much of a special human being he is.
A man that was upstanding during severe shaking, never losing faith in God or himself. Standing by me and pushing me further along in my own career while his own none existent. Being there for his friends while going through his own testings.
Today, again I publicly honor @captkblack for your strong faith in God, patience with this goat inside joke and just being a man of God. It’s not by shouting.
Marriage is a partnership, loose yourself from unrealistic expectations, love your spouse with everything in your being. Be content. Walk humbly before your God.