By Waliu Adeyeri
Important information you need to know about Nigeria’s Bandits
Nigeria is a nation where any form of business thrives, depending on your orientation and connection. It doesn’t matter if it’s legal or illegal all you need is to get your connection right.
I will take you through the most lucrative business in the country today. It’s simply called ‘Banditpreneur’.
Today, in Nigeria the most lucrative business in the country is banditry. It’s a business that comes with high return more than any investment you can think of.
Interesting fact about this lucrative business is that you get full backing of the government. You know other business owners get levied, as a bandit, you are not levied you only get amnesty.
You sit/stand (as the case maybe) at the negotiation table with the authority with your AK-47 at attention, hide under a mask and dressed in your Kaftan and bullet proof.
After your team had successfully executed a project which might involve kidnapping students, travellers and others, all you just need is ask for a huge fund as ransome. Since, the Government has promised not to allow #BBOG repeat itself, it would do all it can to rescue the victims and celebrate that it on the media.
Banditpreneur comes with bountiful recognition, the President will wish to meet with you. You must not allow that get into your head, let your middle-man handle that, only him knows how to reach you while the military, never will they know your hideout.
Your middle-man must be extremely loyal to you that he can never disclosed your hideouts.
My friend this is Nigeria! Where crime is being justified, celebrated while crime fighters are being jeopardised and crucified for upholding honesty.
This is a satirical work that is aimed at ridiculing the happenings in the country.