Nigeria’s legendary singer, actor, journalist and author, Onyeka Onwenu has aired her view about abusive relationships.
The 69-year old actress who has had her own fair share of an abusive relationship disclosed how she summoned courage to leave her previous marriage, find love again and restore her relationship with God in an interview with Chude Jideonwo.
According to Onyeka, “The marriage (with her ex) was incredible. It was incredibly perfect. He was a very good friend. But sometimes when things happen to people, they change, and instead of taking it out on the people who have caused the problem, it is expedient to take it out on the people closest to you. That happened. Why did I take it for so long? Because I loved him. And I loved my children. And my children loved their father.”
Speaking about how she finally made the decision to leave, Onyeaka disclosed that she began to realise that love, sometimes, required walking away, especially in an abusive situation like hers.
“You make sacrifices because of the family. But there comes a time when you have to say ‘I’ve done enough of the sacrificing’, and if you really care about your children, you save yourself. Because it could have killed me”, she said.
In spite of all she went through, Onyeka didn’t give up on love just yet, and revealed how she connected to her present husband.
“You don’t meet people like him all the time, he’s just very special. The love that I share with this man started when I was 13 years old. But I don’t think we were meant to be together and we went our separate ways. We could have married but I wasn’t ready. And then we lost touch. We met up again somehow – everything happened by serendipity. It’s by chance.”
When asked about what has kept her going despite her ordeals, Onyeaka revealed that her faith in God had prevented her from being held bound by loneliness and depression. Many years later, Onyeka Onwenu remains unapologetic about her spirituality, and she says it will continue to form the bedrock of her future accomplishments.
