Author, therapist, and relationship coach, Lara Kudayisi has revealed the traumatic journey that inspired her book How The Matchmaker’s Marriage Failed.
Speaking with, Chude Jideonwo, host and founder of Joy, Inc, Lara recounted these trying experiences which summed up to become her greatest motivation.
Lara revealed the grisly details of damaged trust and betrayal caused by a desperation to just get married. She disclosed that she had gone through 14 heartbreaks, 15 abortions and a failed marriage.
“There is a chapter in that book titled ‘I Married To Prove Daddy Wrong,’” she stated. “I launched Operation Get Married, that’s how the abortions happened. [And] so whilst getting married, every other thing didn’t matter. So even if I got pregnant three times for a guy – and he keeps saying I don’t wanna use protection – I’ll still get an abortion” , she added.
When she finally met the right person after rededicating her life to God, she was again faced with the dilemma of listening to her husband-to-be and getting an abortion just weeks to walking down the aisle or keeping the baby and losing him.
“I was going to marry the guy, we met in church, went to church together. We had fixed the wedding date, so I got pregnant,” Lara said about her 15th abortion and her subsequent failed marriage. “I had rededicated my life to God and said I would not do this again, but then I was in the choir and he was preparing to become a pastor. He said he will never have a pregnant bride. So, I did it.”
The marriage did not hold because he ended the relationship seven days after the abortion.
“I tell my story so other young women don’t have to go through what I did.”
The author made all these revelations on #WithChude, a special series of targeted multimedia conversations and investigations focused on narratives that enable and strengthen the mind, heart, and spirit.