With the advent of fake accusations of rape cases on social media, there is a need to know the situations surrounding a case before it can be termed “rape”.
In the aftermath of an assault, you may have a lot of questions. Chief among them may be, “Was that rape?”
Determining whether your consent was continuous and freely given may help you better understand what happened.
You may find it helpful to consider the following questions.
1. Were you old enough to consent?
Most states have a legal age of consent. The exact age varies by state. The age of consent is the minimum age at which someone can legally agree to engage in sexual activity with another person.
If you’re below that age, you’re considered a minor. This means you can’t legally consent to sexual activity with an adult.
Even if a child or teen says yes, it’s rape. Adolescents can’t legally consent.
2. Did you have the capacity to consent?
Any person who’s consenting to sexual activity must have full power to make that decision. You can’t consent if you’re incapacitated.
People who are under the influence of drugs or alcohol may have diminished capacity.
An intoxicated person can consent as long as they’re able to make informed decisions without pressure or coercion.
Here are some signs of intoxication: slurred speech, stumbling or wobbling when walking, exaggerated emotions and gestures.
Consent can’t be given by someone who’s incapacitated. Some signs of incapacitation include: speaking incoherently, not being able to walk without assistance, confusion, like not knowing the day of the week or where they are, passing out.
Likewise, people who are incapacitated in another way , for example, they may have an intellectual disability, may not fully understand what’s happening. They can’t, in that case, provide consent.
Any sexual contact, without proper consent, could be considered rape.
3. Was your consent freely given?
Consent is an explicit agreement. It should be given enthusiastically and without reservation.
If you’re being threatened in any way, you can’t give consent. Being threatened with force, manipulation, or coercion means any “yes” is involuntary.
Sexual contact that happens after a coerced yes is sexual assault or rape.
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4. Were your boundaries crossed?
When you give consent, you can also establish boundaries. Consenting to one act doesn’t mean you consent to all. For example, you may agree to kissing but not another form of sexual contact, such as fingering.
If a partner goes beyond what you agreed to, they’ve broken your consent. They’ve crossed your established boundaries. This can be considered rape or assault.
5. Did your boundaries change?
You can also change your mind during a sexual encounter. If you initially said yes to something (such as penetration) but decided you were no longer OK with it, you can say no. You can even say no in the middle of the act.
If the other individual doesn’t stop, the encounter is no longer consensual. Your consent is being violated. What’s happening may be considered rape or assault.
6. What does this look like? Is it rape if…
You may find a familiar scenario in these hypothetical situations. That might help you understand if what you experienced was rape.
While these represent several common scenarios, this isn’t an exhaustive list.
If you think you were raped, your experience is valid when
– I said no but they kept asking, so I eventually said yes to get them to stop
Saying no over and over again and then saying yes may be considered coerced consent. In that case, consent isn’t freely given.
– I asked them to stop doing something and they ignored me
Sure, people get lost in the heat of the moment. But if you ask someone to stop doing something and they don’t, they’re violating your consent. You should never be forced to continue something just because your partner wants to. If they don’t respect your request, that can be considered rape or assault.
– I said what they were doing hurt, but they kept going
Pain or discomfort is a legitimate reason to tell someone to stop. If they don’t, they’re violating your consent. This may be rape or assault.
– They forced my face down or held me in a position I didn’t agree to
If the other person uses force on you during a sexual encounter and you didn’t agree to it, this may be rape or assault.
Here again, you have the right to consent to every element of a sexual act. If you don’t, the other person must stop. If they don’t, they’ve violated your consent.
– I said they had to use a condom, but they didn’t or took it off without my knowledge
When two people consent to intercourse, it should also include a discussion about the use of protection. If one person doesn’t uphold that choice, they’ve violated their partner’s consent. Removal of a barrier like a condom without consent can be considered rape.
– I was asleep or unconscious
If you were asleep or unconscious, you couldn’t give consent. Any sexual contact without consent is assault.
– I was drunk/ I was high
People who are incapacitated can’t give consent. Although it’s possible to give consent after having a few drinks, your ability to do so is diminished with each drink. You can’t consent if you’re no longer lucid or coherent.
As with alcohol, it’s possible to give consent while under the influence of certain drugs. It all depends on whether you were able to make an informed decision. If your mental state is completely incapacitated, you can’t consent. Any sexual contact could then be considered rape or assault.
– They were drunk/ They were high
Alcohol isn’t an alibi. They’re responsible for their actions, even if they were drinking.If they didn’t get your consent, any sexual contact could be considered rape or assault.
Actions still have consequences, even if the other person was high or using drugs.If they didn’t get your consent, any sexual contact could be considered rape or assault.
– We were in a relationship
Consent must be given in every sexual encounter. Just because you said yes once doesn’t mean you agree to every sexual encounter in the future.
Having an ongoing relationship or a history of a relationship isn’t a form of consent. It just means you have a personal bond of some kind with that person. This doesn’t dismiss the need for consent. If they don’t have your consent, any sexual contact could be considered rape or assault.
Culled from Healthline
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